Scenario: The deep inhalation of the beautiful bunch of red roses enters her nostrils in sweetest aroma. The sofness of the peddles graces her skin with a calming sensation to her senses. Her heart pounds with delight as her lifps curve to a smile, yet begins to reverse to sadness. Remembering the first time she received a bundle of roses on the first day of their courtship as the man she started her life with stood in anticipation with a nervous grin on his face the day he came to pick her up. She reflexes the anxiety she felt as she stood at the door to answer the knock from the other side. Their first date. But now while standing in the garden of her yard with full blooms about her, she longs to have that feeling again with the man she has been married to for many years. For somehow the gift of love they once had, had drifted apart while all the world about them takes over like a disease. The family is falling apart and she realizes it for the first time while standing about her roses. Memories flooding her mid of the way they once were in love, and now, its just as though they were roommates living in the same house sharing the responsibilities of life. The love that kept the home a safe haven, had dwindled into only a memory. Tears fills her eyes and she begins to weep. she falls to her knees in despair and cries out loud..
God is the center of all things. He is above all things. He brings people together for a purpose. And when he brings people together, it is to fulfill His holy plan for our lives. When we make God the center of our lives, we can achieve many things. We help to fulfill his purpose. Whether we acknowledge that God is in the center of our lives or not, He is there no matter how relationships begin, continue or end. He is the reason we are here in the first place. He created us in His image, that we should love one another the way He loves us. And with that kind of love all things are possible. We can do all things through Christ who is our strength. Amen? Mark 9:23 says, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” God created Adam from the dust of the earth, and when He saw that Adam needed someone, He created Eve. And where did Eve come from? Genesis 2:21-22 says, “And the Lord God caused Adam a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. And the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.”
There is a saying from Matthew Henry. “ Woman was made from the rib of Adam to be beside him, not from his head to top him, nor from his feet to be trampled by him, but from under his arm to be protected by him, near to his heart to be loved by him.”
Can you remember when you first met the love of your life? you thought, “Wow there is my future.” You knew In your heart he was the one. That she was the one. You had to meet and start the relationship going. You couldn’t let this one slip by or you’d regret it for the rest of your life. You made sure to make your claim known. There was a connection that you knew you had that would last. You couldn’t imagine being without each other. You saw yourself wanting to share your life with that person, having children together some day, doing things together, growing old together. That spark was inevitable. You felt this person made you complete. You said, "God please let her be the one.” You pray, ”Father please let him be the one.” “Now.. You think, “How do I make my approach.”
As you start dating, you couldn’t get enough of each other’s company. You saw yourselves in each other’s eyes. You didn’t want to say good night or see You later because You wanted to be by each other’s side at all times. You talked on the phone until one of you would finally give up and say so long for now. You couldn’t stop smiling for nothing because you felt like you were on top of the world. Your Heart was filled with utter joy and excitement. You were giddy, anxious for the next experience. Remember?
What was it about her that melted your heart? What was it about him that made your heart flutter? Personality? Character? Looks? The way she spoke to you? The way he looked into your eyes? The soft touch when he took your hand into his? The way she presented herself to you when you would pick her up for a date? Can you remember those feelings? Think back at the first date. You were nervous. Palms sweating, what should I wear?, will we really connect? Does he like kids? Will she accept the skeletons I have in my closet? “How do I look?,” after trying on several pieces of clothing. And when the knock finally comes to the door, each give that one last straightening up before the door opens. “Wow you look great!”
The first day of the rest of your lives begins. That was a given.
Step one complete. Dating phase has been a success. You know for sure You are compatible. You accept all the things that each of you are. What you look forward to in life are compatible with each other. You accept her for who she is and for what she wants in life, respecting her with the utmost respect You can give a person. You know he will make a good husband and father to your children you want one day, or maybe already have, and you respect him with the utmost respect You could have for a person. The deal is sealed. You want more from this relationship. Why? Because “You complete me.” So the question was asked. “Will you marry me?”
“What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. “ Ah the wedding vows. Finally its official. You are now man and wife. God has blessed the union of this marriage. The big journey begins for the both of you. A new chapter of your lives begin to unfold. Soon children will be entering the picture. Or maybe a blended family already made. But now the real test begins. “Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain.” Proverbs 31:11 says. Ephesians 5:25 also says, “Husbands love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.”
So far so good in the beginning of this journey. Things are still going strong. Your love is even more now than Before. You got this. Life is good. You have the love of your life and your family is about to grow, and things couldn’t be better. The spark has become a full flame in your eyes for her and she looks even more beautiful now while she carries your child. He glows with even more love and affection because you have the result of creation within you. Your love brought forth a child. Then another. Maybe one more. Now the family is complete. God is the center of the relationship, you now have children and family life is in full force. What more could you ask for. Your job is good, you have your dream home, you have children who rely on you and call on you for guidance, your wife is still a dream, your husband still makes your heart flutter. You take a moment and reflect on how far you have come and think, life is good.
After a few years into the marriage, the world starts to close in on your relationship and you start experiencing hardships of family life. Economy, mortgage, work load, bills, school activities, client demands, less time at home; more time at work for the extra money. Tension becomes a regular at home for obvious reasons and the marriage becomes a warning zone. And because of the fact that the focus of God begins to be put aside in the marriage and family, things begin to fall apart. What once was peace and harmony in the home is now becoming a war zone. Unfortunately the “you got this” becomes “What happened?” Arguments flare and resentment settles in and the happy home dwindles into loneliness. Emptiness. Though it still has the beautiful family you brought into it, it has changed. Hearts that once fluttered now has become desolate, dry. The flame that burned in your eyes when you looked upon the love of your life, extinguished. The children that came forth from your love for one another are strangers. Where did all the beauty of family life go? Has God forsaken this once happy home? Or have You forsaken God and this once happy home. Seeking God in this family life had fallen. Faith has been lost. Hebrews 11:6 quotes, “But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarded of those who diligently seek Him.” The stress of daily life pulled you from each other and from the one person who keeps the relationships strong and thriving. Without God we are nothing.
Satan has a way of interfering with the goodness of life. Once something goes wrong, he puts his foot in the door. Because he isn't happy, no one should be happy either. Because he rejected God’s mercy, he wants other’s to reject God’s mercy. And he puts in people’s minds that God Is at fault. And the sad part Is, we don’t really comprehend what’s going on until its too late; until sin shows its ugly head. Adultery, alcoholism, divorce, children being separated from a parent only to visit on the weekends. You do what you can to keep from coming home. Hebrews 13:11 says, “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” The love of your life eventually becomes someone else’s love. You start listening to wrong advice from people who shouldn’t be in your business anyway. Other’s try to give helpful advise to help save the marriage but once the mind is set, that’s it. And you lost everything that meant so much to you. Is that the risk you’ll take? All the love and hard work, all that you have put toward this relationship that you knew you couldn’t imagine being without, is all gone. Why? Over worldly stress? Over a lustful attraction to someone else? Your home goes from being your safe haven into the worldly madness you tried to keep out. And you become so angry that nothing is going to change your mind about the disaster that needs attention now to be fixed before all this meaningful relationship is gone. Now the enemy has entered into your home, your hearts, and your spiritual lives. Now he has all he needs to reek havoc on you and your family. The Bible says in John 10:10 from Jesus, “The thief does not come except to steal, kill and to destroy. I have come that you may have life, and that you may have it more abundantly.
Remember God brings us together to fulfill his perfect plan. His purpose for our lives. The vows you took was a promise you made between each other to love and protect, remember saying ‘for richer or poorer in sickness and in health’?, it’s also through good times and the bad. “Wives submit to your husbands, as it is fitting in the Lord. Husbands love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.” Colossians 3:18-19. Husbands do all you can to keep your wives from stumbling. Wives do the same. If you allow her to stumble, what do you think the Lord will say to you? Wives, to you? She is your responsibility. He is your responsibility. Swallow your pride and take a moment to reflect on things before making drastic moves that will affect all involved in the final assessment. Children don’t deserve to see the anger going on in the family. They don’t deserve to be uprooted from their comfort zone to be without one or the other parent. You brought them into this family unit, it is not their fault when things go wrong, so don't put them in a situation that they must suffer through because you can't swallow your pride. Prov. 11:2 says; "When pride cometh, then cometh shame: but with the lowly is wisdom." "pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall." Prov. 16:18.
Ask God back into your marriage, back into your lives. Let Him help you sort out the problems and bring your family back into perspective. All you need to do is ask Him. If you have never asked God into your marriage, maybe now is the time. James 1:2-4 says, Count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have it’s perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”
Don’t let the flame in your eyes become extinct. Let your heart once again flutter. Remember how his soft touch felt as he put your hand into his? Remember those times when you laughed often at silly little things. How she looked on that first date? How you could see yourselves in each others eyes. Remember when you felt “You complete me.” Don’t rely on the worldly system of counseling because God is not in that counseling. For God is counselor, comforter, keeper. He alone can heal all things and make all things new again. Let Him be the center of the marriage again and watch the miracles happen. Mark 11:22-24 says, “Have faith in God. For assuredly I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says be done, he will have whatever he says. Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.”
Believe that you can conquer all the worldly stress that has divided the home that you brought together out of love for each other. Forgiveness is also the key to regaining the relationship that you had worked hard for. Confess the sins that broke the relationship in two. Ask for forgiveness both from God and your spouse, then your children, and begin to mend what you thought at one time you couldn’t imagine seeing yourself without. Vs 25-26 of Mark 11 says, “And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.” Close the door on the enemy. Tell him “Nope, no passage here.” Lock that door. Come together and communicate and start over. As the saying goes; A family that prays together stays together.
Go on another first date. Remember that? You were nervous, palms sweating. What shall I wear? Will we really connect? Will she accept the skeletons I have in my closet? “How do I look?” after trying on several pieces of clothing. And when that knock finally comes to the door, make that final adjustment before the door opens. “Wow you look great.”
The first day of the rest of your lives begins. That is a given.
Father in heaven, our Creator and Sovereign God;
I pray that the readers of this message will be given a chance to rekindle their family unit and their love for each other and will not let anyone or anything come between them again. That with Christ in the center of their marriage and family, that they can do all things. For their strength comes from Christ our Saviour. Father I pray that while they come to you in prayer and supplications for their love and their marriage and their family that your mercy will be upon them as they work hard to fix the brokenness of their lives and their love they once had for each other. I pray they will stand like the brave with their faces to the foe and resist the devil so he will flea from them.
Father allow them time to renew their vows which they made as a promise to each other before, and show them how with Christ in the cnter they will have all they need to succeed and conquer any obstaces that will come their way. And where children are involved, I pray they will realie they cannot allow them to suffer for their misgivings toward each other. Father be with the now and show them through Jesus how forgiving you are and how they too must be forgiving of one another and get rid of the pride and arrogancy that is damaging their lives and marriage. Marriage is hard when they allow thingsof the world to come in between them and take down their courage and their faith. And we know that without faith it is impossible to please you. Help us all to remember that all things are possible with You Father and that if we have that faith as a mustard seed we can remove all mountains that come in the way.
Because Father you gave Adam his help meet, we as women are to remember that we are to stand beside our men, and that we are not to be rulers over them but to support them. For they are the head of the house and that we are not. We are the support system of the family that keeps the family in unison. Allow the readers to understand that together they can accomplish many things. Putting their power of love together is strong beyond measure. Just as in the garden of Eden, without Adam by her side, Eve was tempted to eat of the forbidden fruit, because she wandered away from the protection of Adam. And as we wander away from the protection of our husbands by not submitting to them in all things as it is pleasing to you Father, we allow the enemy to decieve us. I pray that the spirit of Jezebel keeps away from the men of the household thaty they do not allow their eyes to wander to another and cause them to fall away from their wives. I pray that the wives will see that they do not wear the pants in the family, but that their husbands are the ones who are head of the household. I pray for the ceasing of bickering, and fighting, and arguing, that especially when the children are able to witness this, that the parents will see how it scars them. I pray the enemy will not deceive through others to beak up the home through lusts. I pray that all temptations are seen as devastating if given in to them and that their courage keeps them from giving in. Let them remember when temptation falls upon them to say "No, God is here." Let them remember that when hard times come, they must pray together to You for help and for advise and for strength to get through the difficult times. For a family that pays together in the name of Jesus will overcome and they will stay together. Allow the love they had for each other be stengthened with all force to overcome all adversaries and obstacles. Father be with the readers now and fill their hearts with peace and with strength and with conficence that they can bring back what they once had and can make it stonger than before.
"Love is patient, Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not behave itself unseemly, it does not seek her own, is not easliy provoked, it doesn't think evil; Rejoice not in iniquity, but rejoice in the truth; bearing all things, believing all things, hope all things, endure all things." I pray Father that they will remember all of this, and Father I than you fo your grace and mercy upon the readers of this message as I pray this in the name of your only begotton Son Jesus, Amen.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7